Conception (The Wellingtons, #4) Page 17

  He ignores my question, waving it off in a super annoying yet cute way that makes me want to drag him back to the bed. Unfortunately, he’s too far away to get ahold of.

  “Come on, Melia. We have plenty of time for that later. And considering how much if it we’ve done, my dick would probably welcome a break.” His teasing grin annoys the hell out of me. “I want to spend the day outdoors together. Clothed,” he says.

  “Who are you and what you have done with the Knox I’ve come to l—enjoy?” I catch myself in the nick of time.

  He grins, seemingly unaware of my near slip of the tongue. “I realized I haven’t seen much of Crystal Cove except for the inside of your bedroom, the bar at Mickey’s, and the lake. If I’m going to have a summer home here, I want to explore what’s out there. Nature-wise. There’s a spot Joe told me about that I wanna take you to. The sky’s clear and the temperature’s dropped a bit. For the first time in two weeks, the high’s finally below ninety and the humidity’s lower than it’s been in a month. That means today’s the day.”

  “Ugh. Fine.” Begrudgingly, I crawl out of bed and head to the bathroom, going through my morning routine at a leisurely pace.

  After all the work we’ve done on the house, my muscles ache in the most glorious way. Of course, all of Knox’s massages at the end of every long workday have helped ease the soreness. I feel a little pang at knowing I won’t get to the enjoy the fruits of our labor after this summer is over, and I briefly wonder if he plans on selling it or making it a summer place. Oh, the possibilities.

  Stop that, Amelia.

  “What should I wear on this adventure of ours?” I ask.

  “We’ll be outside, so whatever’s comfortable for you. Just make sure to wear either a good pair of tennis shoes or hiking boots.”

  “Hiking boots? Knox, I’m down with the outdoors as much as the next person, but really? If you want to reward me for a job well done, lounging by the lake, going on another shopping trip, or staying in bed all day are more up my alley.”

  His eyes gleam at the memory of watching me—more like ogling me—trying on bathing suit after bathing suit when we made an impromptu trip to the mall the next county over last week. We did not christen the dressing room that day, but not for lack of him trying.

  “As good as all that sounds, just trust me. I think you’re going to like this.”

  “Fine,” I grumble, pulling on a pair of athletic shorts and a tank tip I tie at the waist. Thankful I brought a pair of sneakers, I take my time putting them on and securing my laces. I fashion my hair in a loose braid that hangs over one shoulder and place my hands on my hips. “Am I presentable?”

  Knox grins. “Babe, I’ve never seen you not presentable. Except maybe when you’re riding my cock and grabbing your tits. Presentable as fuck to me, just not anyone else.”

  The reminder of last night makes my face flush.

  Not wanting to get all hot and bothered before this little excursion, I change the subject. “Will you at least feed me first?”

  “Eggs, sausage, and OJ comin’ right up.”

  It’s something else I’ve learned about Knox in the past month or so. The man loves to cook and he’s damn good at it. Another thing he credits his mom with. In another world, I think I’d love to meet the woman who created such a fine man.

  Or, maybe, in this one, too.

  I devour the breakfast he places before me, fueling up for this experience. By the time we’ve washed, dried, and put away the dishes, I’m anxious to get underway. My initial sleepy reluctance has dissipated. I’m intrigued by this new outdoor man and can’t wait to see what he’s got up his sleeve. Energized as ever, I make my way to the front door and hold it open, but then Knox folds his arms and leans against the wall, watching me.

  “What?” I ask, wiping my mouth just in case there’s a little bit of egg or juice left there.

  “Babe, I think you’re forgetting something.”

  I frown, unsure what he’s talking about. If we’re going hiking, I don’t need my purse, and he has a house key on his own key ring. Grams would be freaking out about that, but what’s the point of locking him out when all I want is for him to be with me?

  I check myself head to toe.

  Comfy clothes I won’t melt in? Check.

  Sturdy sneakers that won’t give me blisters if we traipse all over the Tennessee hills? Check.

  A cute braid that won’t get in the way if Knox finds some tree he wants to push me up against? Double check.

  Other than myself and my small pack filled with water and snacks, I don’t think I’m forgetting anything.

  “What are you talking about? Seems like all I need is you and the outdoors.”

  He gestures with his chin towards the small table in the foyer, where Mom’s camera sits. It’s been there since the day I showed up at Crystal Cove. In my time with Knox, I’ve pushed all photography thoughts aside. Even though my plans were to focus on my friends and my photography, the latter fell quickly by the wayside after meeting him.

  “Knox…”

  “Sunny told me.”

  I must pale, because he takes three strides towards me then cups my face.

  “She told me that you’re a photography fiend. Gotta say, I’m a little hurt you haven’t been using me as your muse.”

  Just like that, he puts me at ease.

  “How do you know I haven’t?” I ask.

  His mouth falls slightly open, and I almost laugh.

  “I can’t wait to get into my darkroom and develop all those pictures of you in silent slumber.”

  “I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be flattered or creeped out by that.”

  I shrug. “I may not even know your last name, but I’ll be damned if I don’t have a picture—or one hundred—to remember you by after the summer’s over.”

  We aren’t supposed to talk about it; the words slip out anyway.

  Knox takes it in stride. “If you need a picture, apparently I haven’t been doing it right.”

  I trail my fingers up his chest, toying with a bit of hair sticking out of the top of his shirt. “Oh, I wouldn’t say that. A picture’s worth a thousand words, you know. An orgasm though? A thousand memories that can lead to even more. Combine the two? I may never need another man in my life.” I laugh, hoping he knows I’m teasing.

  Something dark flashes in his eyes, and I wonder what he’s thinking. Not that I’m going to ask. We’re over halfway through our summer fling, though I try not to think about it on most days. Things have been too calm to rock the boat. The last thing I want to do is muddy the waters or scare the guy off before it’s time for us to make our fond farewells.

  “Think I told you once before, though it might be selfish: It’s kinda my mission to ruin you for all other men, babe.”

  “Well, let’s just say you’re executing said mission quite swimmingly.”

  Knox loosens his hold on me, swatting me on the ass as I move past him to get my camera. When I place the strap around my neck for the first time in far too long, a thrill rushes through me. I can’t believe I’ve been in Crystal Cove for over a month now and haven’t taken a single photo. Mom would be disappointed, and I vow to spend the rest of my time finding perfect shots she’d have hung on the wall. I’d be lying if I said the gesture by Knox didn’t melt a little bit of the ice around my heart.

  It’s not fair.

  He’s not supposed to be this sweet man who makes small gestures to get me back to my regular self. Especially since I’ve still be able to skirt around the issue of my parents. He hasn’t asked. I haven’t offered. And I’m okay with that. I prefer that. That’s a part of my life he doesn’t need to know about, even if I want to let him in.

  I think I’m afraid to go there with him. To show a vulnerability I’m not ready to expose.

  “I really appreciate you doing this, Knox,” I tell him as I get into the passenger’s side of his car. “It’s been too long since I’ve been out in nature, taking photos.
You can get some interesting shots in the city, for sure, but there’s something about the beauty of Tennessee that’s captivating, ya know?”

  Knox dips into the driver’s side, giving my bare thigh a squeeze as his eyes bore into mine. “Captivating. And so damn beautiful.”

  My cheeks instantly heat under his intense gaze.

  His free hand comes to my chin, where his thumb runs along my skin. “And cute as hell when you blush.”

  His words only make me blush that much more, which causes him to chuckle.

  We don’t drive too far from Crystal Cove, and when we park near a field of wildflowers, I gaze out of the windshield.

  “Knox, this is gorgeous. How’d you find out about this place?”

  “Told you. Joe. I mentioned your photography to him and he suggested we explore out here. With the tree cover, it’ll keep some of the heat away, and we can explore. It’s not the Italian countryside, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt for you to see the beauty in your own backyard.”

  “Being here with you beats that Italian countryside any day.”

  I bite my bottom lip, hoping he doesn’t take it the wrong way. Which, incidentally, would be taking it the right way. Not that he needs to know that.

  He doesn’t seem fazed though. He just smiles, presses a kiss to my forehead, then grabs my hand. “Let’s go see if that’s true.”

  We spend hours trekking through the hills, stopping frequently on the way while I take various shots. I’m amazed at the small waterfalls we come across and all the creeks running through the landscape. Knox was right. I had no idea what was right in my own backyard. So much beauty, and I hope I’m going to make my mom proud by capturing its essence.

  I’m crouched down trying to frame a patch of wildflowers we found in the middle of a clearing when a bright flash of light cracks through the air, sending me to my ass. The impending boom that accompanies it comes far too close for comfort. With how dark the sky is, I’m sure it’s about to open up and pour.

  “Shit,” Knox mutters. “Storm’s a-comin’.”

  I’m frozen though.

  Storm’s a-comin’.

  Those were once my dad’s favorite words.

  Words that became my nightmare.

  “Amelia.”

  I squeeze my eyes shut, unable to cease the panic bubbling up inside me. It happens every time, without fail. My heart rate increases until it feels like the damn organ’s going to leap out of my chest, which also feels like it’s being weighed down by an anvil. The more I struggle for breath, the more my heart aches. The more my heart aches, the more I struggle for breath. It’s a vicious cycle that I’m still struggling to overcome.

  “Amelia.” Knox’s hands gingerly slide up my arms until they’re resting on my shoulders where his thumbs rub soothing circles across my skin.

  His touch is enough to lessen the panic, just the slightest bit.

  My eyelids blink open and I catch his worried expression. “I’m scared.”

  Understatement of the year.

  Dark-brown eyes stare into my mine. “I’ve got you, baby. You’re gonna be fine. Do you trust me?”

  “Knox…”

  “Amelia, do you trust me?”

  I nod. That’s all he needs.

  Knox scoops me up and starts running, drawing me out of my daze. “Where are we going? We’re too far from the car!” I exclaim, knowing hyperventilation isn’t that far off.

  “We passed a cave just a few minutes ago. We’ll wait it out there.”

  It feels like an eternity before the cave comes into view. We’re both breathing heavily as Knox sets me on my feet, but he doesn’t let me know. He holds me close, stroking my wet hair and whispering encouraging words, telling me everything will be okay.

  And hell. I believe him.

  Once he’s convinced I won’t go screaming for the hills, he releases me and bends down to grab a bottle of water out of his pack, knocking back a swig before handing it to me. I take it, grateful for a chance to catch my breath, not that it’s helping my racing heart. But we’re out of the rain and, fingers crossed, out of immediate danger.

  “This isn’t creepy at all,” I tell him, trying to make light of the situation. Trying like crazy to calm my racing heart.

  From the mouth of the cave, I see another bolt of lightning, and I squeeze my eyes shut. Dammit. Why, why, why didn’t I check the weather report this morning?

  With my eyes squeezed shut, I count. It does nothing to keep me from jumping when a thunderous boom crashes all around us.

  Knox’s arms come around me and he takes us to the ground, settling me in his lap. I’m trembling, and he must feel it, too. His fingers skim my arms in a soft, soothing caress as he whispers to me. It’s comforting and almost embarrassing at the same time. I’m a grown woman afraid of thunderstorms.

  “Shh. It’s okay, Amelia. I’ve got you. We’re safe in here.”

  Lightning illuminates the cave once again, and I turn in his arms to meet his gaze, hoping he can distract me from the storm.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “You must think I’m acting like a baby.”

  His warm hand rubs my back in slow circles. “I don’t think you’re a baby. That’s the furthest thing from the truth. All I know is you’re scared, and I don’t know why.”

  “I don’t do well in storms.”

  Okay, maybe that’s the understatement of the year.

  His eyes soften. “Melia, I was there that day. I know you don’t. You can tell me anything. Or nothing if that’s what you want. Just know I’m here for you if you ever wanna talk about whatever’s bothering you.”

  For the first time in four years, I find myself wanting to open up. I want to tell him, and that both surprises and scares me. I don’t want to let Knox into that part of my life. I don’t want him to understand my grief. But even more, I don’t want to not let him in. And what’s the harm? I mean, it’s not like he’ll be around forever. Maybe that’s what makes this easier. I can be vulnerable with him, knowing he’s just a blip on the radar of my life.

  “My parents died during a dangerous thunderstorm while we were in Crystal Cove for the summer. Four years ago. It’s why I haven’t been back since. It’s why…why I panicked that day we met.”

  “Baby—”

  I stop him. “I was with them. I was with them and I’m the only one who survived. How is that fair?”

  “It’s not.” His thumb lifts my chin until our eyes meet. “It’s not fair that they’re gone and you’re left alone. But worse would’ve been you being gone and my not ever meeting you.”

  “I shouldn’t say this, yet I’m going to anyway.” I pause, my heart racing. “For the past four years, I’ve only been existing. This summer? With you? I finally feel alive again.”

  His eyes give nothing away and I wonder if I’ve said too much.

  “I probably shouldn’t say this, either, but yeah, I’m with you. I can’t remember the last time I felt this—if I ever have.”

  His words make my heart both soar and slump. I don’t know how to respond without going too far. What was supposed to be simple, insignificant, has turned into something more profound that I never expected.

  Knox breaks the silence. “Can you tell me what happened?”

  I don’t hesitate. I tell Knox about the super cell Dad and Mom were chasing that late July evening.

  While my dad was a meteorologist, he wasn’t an expert storm chaser. He considered it more of a hobby, something he and Mom could do together. He’d get the exhilaration of the chase; she’d capture Mother Nature’s fury. A win-win for them both. For me, it was the best of both worlds.

  The treacherous storm that day came out of nowhere, as they often do during the summer in Tennessee. One second, we were enjoying a family day at the beach; the next, our bodies were pelted in a torrential downpour. Dark clouds rolled in and lightning flashed off in the distance. We hightailed it to the family station wagon, where Dad asked Mom if the camera was in the car. S
eeing as she rarely left the house without it, she reached into the back seat and held it up with a triumphant smile, one Dad returned. He flipped the radio on, turning the dial until a weather bulletin came over the speakers.

  As soon as he heard the words “funnel cloud ten miles east of Crystal Cove,” we were off.

  What happened next remains a blur. I’ve experienced it countless times in my nightmares, but the memory is never quite clear. It’s not vague enough to fade, either.

  The only reason I survived was because I chose to sit in the back of the station wagon so I could watch the storm from the opposite direction. The impact of the tree crushed the car like it was a cheap tin can. My parents didn’t stand a chance. I was supposed to find solace in the fact that they likely died instantly.

  But how do you find solace in the face of death?

  “You always hear people say things like ‘at least they died doing something they loved’ and I get it. It makes sense. But sometimes I wonder why they had to love doing something so dangerous? And why did I survive but they didn’t?”

  Survivor’s guilt wasn’t something I’d ever heard of. Not until Grams insisted I see a grief therapist. Only then did I start to understand that what I was feeling was common for someone who has gone through what I did.

  “I can’t say I understand what it’s like to lose anyone close to you, especially your own parents. But I know you, Amelia. Your parents would never have wanted you to have died with them. They’d be proud of the woman you’ve become. Your spirit, your passion—everything about you is a testament to them. And as long as you live, they’re a part of you. They’ll always be with you.” He squeezes my hand in emphasis.

  I long to tuck into his warm embrace, for him to envelope me in a safe cocoon and never let him go.

  But I can’t.

  I blink tears back and gaze up at him, hating the pity I see in his eyes. “You think you know me?”

  “Yeah, Melia. I think I know you real well.”

  I can’t help the coy smile that crosses my lips. “I suppose that’s probably true.”

  “Thank you for opening up to me,” he says, and something sparks inside me when I know he means it.