Conception (The Wellingtons, #4) Page 24

  “I’m too busy.”

  “You’re full of shit is what you are.”

  I scowl, because it pisses me off how well he can read me. Clay’s not only my brother, he’s my best friend. The person who knows me nearly better than I know myself. There’s no sense in lying to him.

  “I have no desire to go out. To meet anyone else.”

  Realization dawns in his eyes. “Ah. Meems.”

  My eyes cut to his.

  “So much for a summer fling. You fell for her. Just as quickly as I fell for Maria, even though you scoffed at the idea.”

  I’m waiting for the “I told you so.”

  “It wasn’t supposed to happen,” I say. “Hell, I don’t even know how it happened. One second, I was content just being with her, and the next, I couldn’t fathom a life without her. I don’t even know when or where the flip switched.”

  “You never stood a chance.”

  I move my gaze from my drink to Clay. “What do you mean?”

  “I could see it on your face. It’s the same expression I’m sure I had when I met Maria.”

  I groan. “Oh, hell, not this again.”

  “Hey, I didn’t buy into it, either. Not until it happened to me. But there’s something to be said for the Wellington Way. It hit me like buckshot. One single moment splintered me into a thousand pieces. Pieces I never wanted put back together. Because going back to life before Maria? Unfathomable.”

  He’s lucky his was just buckshot. I’ve taken on a whole battalion of artillery and then some. And I still lost the war.

  “I don’t have a choice.”

  “The hell you don’t. You know where she is.”

  “Dad needs me here.”

  “There’s nothing here I can’t handle.”

  I want to believe him. But I made Mom a promise, and if I take off, Dad will try his damnedest to go back to work before he’s ready.

  “I need to be here, Clay. You still need to focus on school.”

  “And yet your heart is still there,” he reminds me.

  I sigh. “You’re right. Each mile I got farther from Crystal Cove was agony. I could feel it in my bones. How wrong it was. It’s been weeks and I miss her more than I ever thought possible. More each day.”

  Clay raises a glass. “She’s the one, bro.”

  No shit.

  “I miss her like oxygen,” I tell him. “Like she’s the air in my lungs, and without her, I’m left breathless. Sometimes it’s only in the back of my mind. Like when you’re standing on the shore and the tide recedes. You miss the water, but you know it’ll return. Other times, like when I’m lying in bed at night and it’s quiet, it’s so intense it feels like drowning. Like I’ve gone underwater and, no matter how hard I struggle, I can’t come up for air. Without her, I don’t know if I ever will.”

  “Because you love her.”

  Because I love her.

  “But my life is here and hers is…everywhere,” I reply. “Our futures are out of sync. Heading in complete opposite directions.”

  “Is that what she said?

  I recall her words: Our lives are intersecting lines, never to meet again.

  “Basically,” I tell my brother. “She doesn’t want to be rooted to Tennessee, and the roots I have here are firmer than a white oak’s.”

  “That is quite the conundrum.”

  “It is what it is. I’ll get over it. Eventually.”

  He knows it’s bullshit as much as I do.

  Clay shoots me a pointed look. “Or you won’t. But you’ll know where to find her when you figure out you won’t ever be able to live without her. It’s going to happen, Knox. The only question is: How long do you plan on torturing yourself?”

  I don’t get over it. Not even close. Hell, I move in the opposite direction. And like Clay predicted, I torture myself day in and day out.

  The days grow shorter, with Mother Nature taking pity on us and ending the heat wave, offering relief with cooler temperatures as the leaves turn from green to oranges, yellows, and reds.

  All it does is make me think of Amelia.

  Summer will always be a reminder of her. The cacophony of crickets and cicadas echoing all around us. The moonlit sky reflected in dazzling eyes that gazed at me intently. The sound of rain, the crash of thunder, the flash of lightning. The sweltering heat and droplets of sweat.

  But it’s not just summer. Now that autumn is here, I wonder what she’s doing. Is she out photographing the changes in the trees? Does she still spend time at the lake now that the summer heat’s faded? Is she even still there? Do I cross her mind even half as much as she crosses mine?

  The holidays come and go, and I wonder where Amelia is, who she’s celebrating with. Is it just her and her Grams, or is she back with the gang in Crystal Cove?

  I graduate early, ready to take on more work at Wellington, but Dad won’t hear of it. He claims it’s still my last semester whether I have classes or not and says, “Get your ass out there and have fun while you still can.”

  I begrudgingly listen, and all that does is turn me into a third wheel to Clay and Maria.

  They drag me to wine tastings, art shows, and restaurant openings. I love my brother, and Maria’s obvious adoration of him endears her to me, but the more I witness their relationship, the more I’m reminded of what I could have had with Amelia. What I want with her. I need a fucking break.

  That’s how I find myself as part of a foursome on the golf course even though I’m pretty shit at the game.

  But that’s the nature of the business. Come for the golf, leave with new clients. Since I was a kid, Dad taught me that just as much business can be done on the course or in a bar as it can be done in a conference room. He wasn’t kidding.

  After ending the afternoon one under par and in last place of our group, I head into the club to return the keys to the golf cart. As I turn to leave, I spot a familiar face by the door. There’s no way to avoid him if I want to get out of here, so I head over, giving him a chin lift.

  “Hey, Knox. Good to see ya, man,” J.T. says, running a hand through his hair. The sunlight from the glass door catches the gold band on his finger.

  “Yeah. I guess congratulations are in order,” I tell him, feeling slightly bitter. Not because he’s with my ex, but because he looks so damn happy and I know why. And I don’t have that. Not anymore.

  He’s not smug. He’s also not apologetic. “Look, man, I’d apologize, but that’d make me a damn liar. I’m not sorry Gwen and I fell in love. I never touched her while you were together. I respected you too much for that.”

  Without skipping a beat, I wave him off. “Water under the bridge, J.T. Gwen and I had no future. She just realized it before I did.”

  He hesitates then nods. “Glad to hear it. We weren’t sure, with you taking off for the summer and all. You pretty much up and vanished after the wedding invitations went out. Odd for you, since you usually spend all your summers working for your pop.”

  J.T.’s watching me, and even though he’s never been one to gossip, I can tell he’s interested. Whether it’s to make him feel better that I wasn’t off pining over his new wife or he’s genuinely curious, I’m not sure.

  “Yeah, Mom decided I needed a break from that before senior year. My parents got me a place in Crystal Cove, a few hours from here. I spent the summer fixing it up.”

  He tilts his head then snaps his fingers. “Crystal Cove. My grandma has a place out there. Man, I haven’t been there since I was a kid.” He chuckles. “Maybe I’ll have to take Gwen there sometime. I wonder if my cousin still goes there.”

  My curiosity piques. “Cousin?”

  “Yeah. Shit, I haven’t seen her since…” He pauses, his eyes darkening. “The funeral four years ago. Some cousin I am.”

  Her. Funeral. Four years. My ears start to ring.

  There’s no way. Tennessee isn’t that big, but the likelihood that J.T. and Amelia are related is slim. Isn’t it? Still. I have to ask.


  “Funeral?”

  I don’t even care that I’ve been reduced to one-word questions.

  As J.T. slips his hands into his pockets, something dark crosses his features. “Her parents—my mom’s brother and his wife—were killed in a storm a few years ago. She was with them. It was fucking brutal, man. Seeing her at the funeral? All pale and small?” He lets out a low laugh, one laced with shame, not amusement. “Geez, I’m a fucking asshole.”

  Yeah, I know the feeling.

  It’s been eight damn months since I started trying to do everything possible to get Amelia off my mind, and even though I thought I’d been winning, one mention of her from J.T. completely unravels everything.

  I may have a poker face in the boardroom, but I clearly do not when it comes to Amelia.

  “What’s with the face, Wellington?” J.T. asks, his eyebrows furrowed.

  “Your cousin. Amelia?”

  Those same eyebrows rise in surprise. “You met her?”

  “Yeah, I met her.”

  “How’s she doin’?”

  “I…I don’t know.”

  And it hits me.

  I don’t have a fucking clue how Amelia is doing and I fucking hate it.

  It’s unacceptable, and I have the power to fix it.

  Fix everything.

  “J.T., it’s been nice catching up but I’ve gotta run.”

  “What’s up? Where you going in a hurry?”

  “I’ve gotta get back to Crystal Cove.”

  A steady hand catches my arm, stopping me in my tracks. “Did something happen between you two?”

  I pause, my eyes meeting his curious ones. “Yeah, J.T. Something happened. I fucking realized what Gwen and I never had. What you two do. I fell in love with Amelia and I walked away like the world’s biggest moron. And now? I’m going to fucking fix it.”

  Two hours later, Mom finds me in my bedroom, packing a duffel bag. I’m lost in thought, with Genesis playing on my boombox, when a throat clears, tearing me out of my one-track mind.

  “Going somewhere?” she asks as she leans against my doorjamb, eyeing me with concern. “And more importantly, have you told your father?”

  Fuck. Spring break starts next week and I’m set to shadow Dad, him calling it a “trial run” before I get to put my nameplate at the Wellington Enterprises table.

  I don’t fucking care.

  “Mom, I’ve gotta go. I’ve been gone too long as it is. I can’t stay away from her for another second. Dad will have to understand.”

  “Her?” Her melodic tone sounds amused and definitely intrigued.

  I lift my gaze for a split second and see her studying me, curiosity etched on her delicate features. “Yeah, Mom. Her.”

  That’s all she gets. I don’t have time to tell her all about Amelia, the woman who captured my heart. The woman who I don’t even know will have me back. The woman I don’t want to share.

  The laughter that fills the air catches me off guard. Mom walks into the room and sits on the edge of my bed, patting the seat beside her. Although I’m eager to hit the road, I sit too.

  “You are your father’s son, Knox. Through and through. You’ve always been that way. Clay was my softie, the momma’s boy I never knew I wanted.”

  I snort. “Yeah, and look at him now. Went from momma’s boy to wrapped around Maria’s fingers.”

  She sighs. “Trust me. Don’t I know it. But it’s good for him. She’s good for him. I always knew Clay would find a good woman, and it didn’t surprise me that he did it so young. But you? I worried about you.”

  I meet her gaze. “What?”

  “You’re so much like your father. Focused on work, work, work. I think that’s why I was elated when you found Gwen so early on, even if it was obvious to pretty much everyone that you weren’t all in.”

  I start to protest, but she lifts a hand to silence me.

  “I know you loved her in your own way. I also know your heart was more into work than her. But ever since you came home from Crystal Cove, you’ve been different.” She pauses, her soft amber curls bouncing with the slightest shake of her head. “No, different’s not the right word. You’ve been the same, except you’ve become obsessive with work. More so than usual. As if you have to fill up every second of every day with distraction, as if you can’t—or don’t want to—find a moment’s peace. And when you aren’t working, you’re brooding. Now, don’t get me wrong. You practically came out of the womb brooding, but this is far different than that.”

  She’s right about the brooding. Clay’s called me on it more times than I can count. Not that I’ll ever admit it to her. So I do what I do best: ignore it.

  “Dad needed me.” It’s a lame excuse, and she knows it. I continue anyway. “I did what you asked. I went away for the summer, had fun, threw blood and sweat into that lake house. When I left Crystal Cove, I left all of that behind. I needed to be one hundred percent at the top of my game for Dad. That’s all there is to it.”

  She tsks, and though I don’t want to meet her eyes, the sound has my gaze rising. The expression on her face… It takes me aback.

  Mom would love Amelia. And Amelia would love Mom. They’re so much alike and I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.

  What if? What if I could give Amelia not only me, but a family again too?

  And not just my parents. Or Clay. But a family of our own.

  My heart nearly stops at the thought of Amelia carrying our child. Images flash through my mind. Me wrapping my arms around her swollen belly. A baby nestled on her breast. First steps. First words. First everything.

  And if I wasn’t sure before, I am now. I have to win her back. We can live in Nashville or Crystal Cove or jet-set wherever she wants to. All that matters is her. All that matters…is us.

  “Did I lose you?”

  I blink back to reality. “Sorry.”

  “As I was saying before you zoned out, your father only needed you for a couple of weeks until he was back on his feet. Trust me, neither of us wanted your summer cut short, but Knox, you’re his right hand, just like you were always meant to be. You’re the one he trusted the most to look after things while he was recuperating.”

  Her words should thrill me. A year ago, they would have. It’s all I’ve ever wanted: my place at Wellington Enterprises, sitting at the right hand of my father until he handed over the baton. Yet it all seems so meaningless now. It’s still my dream, my life’s ambition. It’s just… I won’t be fulfilled unless Amelia is by my side.

  I’ll do whatever it takes to get her back, even if it means giving all of this up.

  I clear my throat. “That means everything, Mom,” I croak, and it may not sound like it, but I mean it.

  “You’re well aware he practically had to throw you out of his desk chair when he came back. That didn’t slow you down though. I was curious—what was stoking the fire lit underneath you? But I gave you space. You’re a grown man, and you don’t need to come to your momma for advice. But now that I’ve found you here packing, ready to skip out without barely a word to your dad, not knowing when you’re coming back, I have to ask.” Piercing, dark eyes hold my gaze. “What happened in Crystal Cove?”

  Without breaking my stare, I say the last thing I’m sure she’s expecting.

  “I fell in love, Mom. I fell in love, and I let her go. And now I’m going to fix it.”

  I wish I could’ve caught Mom’s expression on camera. The unusual combination of shock mixed with glee would’ve had me laughing if I hadn’t been so intent on getting out of the house. She sat in stunned silence for a moment before leaping up from the bed, pushing my duffel bag into my chest, and telling me to hit the road and not come back until Amelia was mine. She’ll take care of Dad.

  Have I mentioned how rad my mom is? ’Cause she’s seriously the tits.

  Her words replay over and over in my mind the closer I get to Crystal Cove. It’s not until I’m pulling onto the one main street that doubt creeps in. What
if she isn’t here? What if she went back to school and I’ve come all this way for nothing?

  I shake the thought out of my head, because it’d only be a small setback. If she isn’t here, I’ll just get Sunny to tell me where to find her. She may seem like a tough cookie, but when it comes to Amelia and love, she won’t be a hard nut to crack. Especially if I can get Joe on my side. It’s not like we ended on bad terms. Just like the summer, our end was inevitable.

  I’m a bit dejected when I park in the drive in front of her cottage and see that the house is dark. I leave the driver’s door hanging open, rush up the steps, and then pound on the door, wondering what the hell I’ll say when I see her again. What the hell I’ll do. Part of me wants to tell her I love her, that I’ve tried living without her and I just can’t do it. The other part wants to sweep her into my arms and take those sweet, cherry lips I’ve been dreaming about for ages.

  I do neither of those things when a wrinkled face with eyes covered in large glasses stares out at me through the curtain.

  Mrs. Mayfield opens the door, peering at me.

  “You,” she croaks, and I nearly step back from the accusation in her voice.

  I clear my throat. “Uh, hey, Mrs. Mayfield. Sorry to bother you if you were sleeping. I’m Knox, if you remember me.”

  “Of course I remember you. You’re that boy who was sniffing around Amelia last summer then up and left her.”

  Ouch. If words had fists, that’d have been one hell of a punch.

  “Yeah, that’s not what happened.”

  “From where I’m standing, it is.”

  My momma would be disappointed, but I have zero patience for meddling old ladies tonight. “With all due respect, Mrs. Mayfield, what happened with Amelia and me is none of your business. Judge me all you want. I don’t give a fuck.”

  She gasps, and I don’t care.

  “I may have left—because Amelia wanted me to—but I’m back now and I won’t stop until I find her. Now, where is she?”

  She purses her lips and lifts her chin, steel-gray eyes boring into me. Just when I think she’s about to slam the door in my face, she relents. “I was afraid she was the one who pushed you away.” She sighs. “She’s not here, but she isn’t far.”